I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
