i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
