He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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