Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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