hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
