Can i not drive my cunt home
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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