I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
