Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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