i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and she was petting her beer can
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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