what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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