dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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