actually, I'm a sock model
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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