yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
