i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
