So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
