i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
