Sponge bath it is.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
