He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
