You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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