Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
