dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
