you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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