Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
