so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry about my life...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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