There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
