I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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