Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
