He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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