there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just come out here and I will go home with you...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
