the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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