i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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