You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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