my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
