I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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