We won't sleep together?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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