Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Boobs speak an international language.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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