did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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