My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize