Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize