Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
