sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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