So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
