You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
