I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
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