Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
