I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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