Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize