Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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