I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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