I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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