She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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