Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
