seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
