I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we're chasing vodka with high fives
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
