My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
