Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Small penises have feelings too.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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