he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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