You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
