You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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