i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
