Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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