just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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