the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
