come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
