it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
