"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
