your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
third nipple confirmed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
