So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
