Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
