tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
