haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
