Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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